Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person

by The School of Life with Alain de Botton as the Series Editor

October 27, 2020

Los Angeles, CA

This is another essay book by the School of Life that I picked up from the boutique bookstore that shut down when I was with Hatim ElDawi. I picked this up and started reading it spontaneously three nights ago since I couldn't focus on anything heavier or denser since the streets were roaring with the LA Dodgers victory.

The essay book covers the topics of why we tend to marry the wrong person when we should actually get married, and how romantic novels and media culture present a very false idea/image of the reality of love and marriage. It’s more applicable to our generation rather than our parents, however, it does explain unsuccessful marriages slightly as well.

The first essay presents how we don’t fully understand ourselves or other people, how we aren’t always happy and that love won’t be the cure for it, how we rush into things because being single is so awful, instinct has too much prestige and we dismiss reasoning, that we aren’t educated about love because we didn’t go to school or receive any training for it, we want to freeze happiness and make things in life permanent, we believe that we are special, and finally that we want to stop thinking about love.

We are ready to be married when we give up on perfection (both giving and receiving), when we despair of being understood, when we realize we’re crazy, when we are ready to love rather than be loved (this is tougher when you had very loving parents), when we are ready for administration in our lives, when we’re happy to be taught, and when we realize we’re not that compatible.

My favorite part is the third essay which I found hilarious, it compares romantic novels to classical novels on the elements of life that we are misguided by when we think like romantics. It covers work, children, practicalities, sex, and compatibility. It’s written in a way that makes us laugh each time we’re hit with the reality bullet after reading our fantasy romantic expectations.