The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)
by Don Miguel Ruiz
Timeline Unknown
Los Angeles, CA
Recommended by someone on Clubhouse in Book club meeting
This was a short book which I have mixed feelings about since it provides some strong points for having a strong mindset, but also comes off slightly as a self-help book (a genre I’m not a fan of, I’m more into reading about strategy for solutions instead). This book presents a short and simplified guide to gaining a limitless mindset, it’s similar to the book I recently finished reading, The Code of the Extraordinary Mind. But, The Four Agreements is much shorter and simpler, focuses on only four lessons, and is much more spiritual in the way it’s written. I do appreciate a very interesting point in the introduction: We are trained to believe certain things, to the point we are considered to be “domesticated humans” and our initial beliefs were not implanted into our mindset by our choice when we are born, based on a reward and punishment system. Then we use those beliefs that rule us like a Book of Laws, that we use to judge our own thoughts and actions, creating a fear that eventually limits us. To break free, the author presents four laws or agreements that will allow us to be limitless. I agree with four agreements, however, I already hold them; that being said, the book gave me a perspective on each. The four agreements are to be “Impeccable with your word,” “Don’t take anything personally,” “Don’t make assumptions,” and “Always do your best.”
Be Impeccable with your word means avoiding speaking against yourself or to gossip about others. Following your word, is following your law. A piece I agreed with is “impeccable,” which goes against you which is usually to sin; we should redefine “sin” on our own terms and laws. To stop gossiping since it spreads false information and leads to more problems, instead you should communicate with others.
Don’t take anything personally, whatever anyone says about you or does to you without truly knowing you; it’s not a reflection of you, but of them. Whether it’s a diss or a compliment, a bad thing or a good thing, you cannot base yourself on other people’s perspectives of you. Only use your perspective on yourself. I agree with this mentally, however, when it comes to those who work with you and care for you; I feel it’s essential to open to feedback and criticism for effective leadership. If you’re outside that circle, you’re most definitely not getting into my head.
Don’t make assumptions is a trait I agree with and I recommend more people read into this. We tend to make assumptions, that turn into firm beliefs we hold as the truth. This leads us to form imaginary scenarios in our heads that make us take things personally. Always communicate, and most importantly clarify things by asking questions. The biggest assumption we make, that I definitely make, is assuming others think, feel, judge, and abuse the way we do. They don’t and asking them to reach their perspective and come to an understanding is one solution.
Always doing your best in everything is something I agree with and practice, however, I don’t agree with the author about not judging yourself because you did your best. Whenever I do a mistake or fall short, I have to analyze it and judge it to not repeat it and to figure out the solution or see why my process didn’t achieve my desired result. Regardless, as my partner puts it: “Balls to the wall and give it hundo p in everything that you do.”
Again, I agree with the four agreements, the Toltec path is interesting in guiding its warriors to have awareness, discipline, and control. But, I don’t think this book provided anything unique that you won’t find in another basic self-help book; it’s a short book anyways that can be finished in one sitting, wouldn’t hurt to read it and reflect on it.